I posted last about the intensely busy periods that build you into the creative you are. They’re powerful growing experiences and very much needed in the grand scheme of your life, career and practise.
But, the flip side is when it gets too much.
The last few months of 2011 were just crazy. And I mean CRAZY. I was existing on a maximum of 4 hours sleep a night, though more often than not 2 hours….or none. There was just too much to do, too many people to respond too, too many decisions to make, too few hours in the day. But while working at such a breakneck pace is rewarding and part of the very nature of being a creative, there comes a point where you either have to back off, or break.
The lifestyle of a creative is hard. The lifestyle of a photographer/filmmaker is VERY hard, especially when you freelance and never know where the next paycheck is going to come from. And sometimes you go through periods where you have to take on projects or jobs which have a scant paycheck but are good for your greater career and/or soul even though they conflict with the whole business of surviving and being able to eat at somewhat regular intervals. And towards the end of last year I had a score of projects like that come up.
I didn’t back off. I took them all on.
And while I don’t regret saying yes what was a few too many times; by the middle of December I was literally so exhausted I couldn’t string together a coherent sentence or thought, let alone manage one particular fashion shoot with my crew, clients and talent waiting expectantly for a simple shot that I couldn’t produce because my brain had decided to stop working; let alone manage to drive myself from place to place. Not only is this stupid, it’s also dangerous. And while I survived that period, and eventually managed to get that particular simple shot, I decided I needed to stop. Just stop.
Stop.
If I didn’t, I probably would have had a car accident, or a stomach ulcer or some other kind of manifestation of a life without control. When you’re at that intensity of focus and work and stress, you’re not under control. You’re responding, always responding, never pulling back on the reigns but letting the horse go where it will.
Stop.
This is actually very hard. I am a definite confirmed nutjob all hours workaholic. It was like hitting a brick wall, I just collapsed and essentially didn’t leave my bed for 4 days.
Stop.
Thank god. In our hyper connected, always on lifestyles we can forget that we shouldn’t ALWAYS be on. It’s nice to be off for a while.
Stop.
It’s important to have the intensely busy periods. But it’s also important to stop too, and have a balance. It’s important to not take too much on. The problem for me is that I didn’t bite off more than I could chew – I did it all, got all the projects and jobs done and everyone’s been happy with the results. But in the process of biting off such a large chunk, I spent all my time chewing and forgot to breathe.
This year: more balance. And more backing off.
